Drops Of Jupiter

I'd imagine, from the mood and theme of this song, that my late Mama would appear somewhere in the thin air and she would come down from wherever she was and visit us all...

It'll be something if whatever that's written in here is true... but we all know that it's a tad too impossible, right? That's why this song is a perfect tribute in memory of my beloved Mama...

I'm pretty sure she's out there somewhere watching us from afar...

Taken from the song "Drops of Jupiter" by Train
(Written by: Robert S. Hotchkiss, Pat Monahan, James W. Stafford, Scott Michael Underwood & Charlie Colin)

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself?

And did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day?
And did you fall for a shooting star?
Fall for a shooting star?
And now you're lonely looking for yourself out there

A Song For Mama

Lyrics taken from "A Song For Mama" by Boyz II Men
(Written by Kenneth B. Edmonds a.k.a. Babyface)

You taught me everything
Everything you've given me
I'll always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything
Or anyone that I could be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were gray
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me

And no one else can be
What you have been to me you will always be
You will always be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is, yes it is, oh, yes it is, yes it is, yes it is oh

You're always there for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did

And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me and say to me
I can face anything

And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be, you will always be
The girl in my life, ooh oh

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul

Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinkin' about you
I'll never go a day
Without my mama

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul

Lovin' you is like food to my soul, oh yeah
You are the food to my soul, yes you are

An Ode To Mama

This Poem was written by my eldest brother, Ikmal a.k.a. Ike. I thought I'd like to share it in this blog.

Mama’s love that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .

It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .

It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .

It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .

A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand …
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.

- Along -

(2008)

Remembering Her Last Days

That morning, that one fateful Christmas Morning, I woke up from my short, interrupted sleep and had a glance at the Blood Pressure Indicator. Her pressure went down a little, but according to Nafi, the Maid on Duty, it was exceptionally normal for her to be in such a shape. Her breathing was rather hoarse and unrefined. Her pulse rate, albeit in her deep slumber, indicated an equivalent to a running man.

I am not a Doctor, I could never tell the difference. But something tells me... it ain't right.


She was calm nevertheless. Her eyes closed as always. Her skin never changed - blemished and reddish all over. When the nurses cleaned her up, her back soar never looked like recovering. Her sore feet worsen.

Deep down in my heart, partially, I had my reservations over the care of the doctors and nurses at the hospital. Things could have been much better handled.

She was infected with a bacteria or virus or some sort and became immune to any sort of antibiotics during her tenure at the hospital. And her back sore became as large as a crater courtesy of her confinement and bed-ridden days in the hospital wards.

But then again, perhaps, it was just about time...


I spent the night with her - the night before she left us all. I left her at 11.00 in the morning when my Dad and another Maid of ours came by to take over the shift.

I swear to God, I never knew it would come on that fateful day itself. One of my brothers, Rozman, was not around, as he was already in Langkawi with his family.

There was no any unusual signs when I left her.

Only when my Dad called me at about Maghrib time that I realized something was wrong.

I rushed to the hospital, only to find that her breathing was unusual. It was a moment of "Nazak"... something I often see on TV, on others but never this close, this immediate.

And when she left us with her last gasp of breath... I was right beside her hoping that her life could be prolonged just... a little longer.

It turned out that God loved her much more than I do.


Time stopped for a moment...

A Succint Epitaph

Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat ke atas Roh Bondaku, Norziah Binti Jusoh.

22 Days Later...

It all seemed new... it all seemed fresh.

Memories of her, lying on that old hospital bed kept on playing in my mind continuously each time I sat down on the praying mat, at home or at the office or anywhere for that matter.

Thinking about her ruffled and reddish skin during her last few days, would only make me feel sad and disparage. Not much could have been done to save her or at least to prolong her survival during her last few breaths. Not much could have been given in terms of our effort alone except to provide her with more warmth and comfort during her morbid and melancholic period at the Geriatric Ward of the University Hospital, Petaling Jaya.

I could recall my Papa's visit to the ward almost non-stop daily, and that was almost instantaneously followed suit by my siblings practically day in and day out. Ward 1344 was like a second home to all of us, especially Papa. Even the ever so celebratory Hari Raya Aidiladha was commemorated in a rather gloomy fashion together with the Nurses and Doctors on call.

And New Year, once again, became a poignant and heartwrenching moment for us all, as it passed us by like a gentle reminder that we have all had our funs during the year, hence, we should all learn to accept a tragedy or two towards the closing of the calendar. New Year was not just a turning over of a new leaf, but like the previous years, a solemn juncture with quiet sobriety.


Yesterday, was the mother of all other days.

Yesterday, my heart felt her loss in a tremendous wave of fashion. A tumultuous and painful feeling that I had to endeavour, leaving afloat a smiling face on the surface so as to hide the true emotions beneath.

Yesterday, her loss was a tragic commotion to me. Her facial expressions lingered on and on. And the memory of her last gasp brought tears down my cheeks, for I was immediately next to her when the doctor and nurses checked her pulse. And for the first time ever since she passed away, I cried in full. The one and only time that I could probably feel that her loss was a tremendous tragedy for me to bear in times of need...

A loss is a loss... All that is left are sour grapes and ashes...

Mama... This is where it all ends

This blog is dedicated to my beloved Mama, Puan Hajjah Norziah Binti Jusoh, who left us on the night of the Christmas Day, 25 December 2007, at about 9.05 pm, at the age of 67.

She left behind a wonderfully dedicated and utterly responsible Husband (a.k.a. my Papa), Haji Mohamed Kamal Bin Abu Talib; 4 grown up Boys, Ikmal Hisham, Rozman, Ahmad Termitzi and Aris Abdillah; 1 Daughter, Zilfalela; 3 Daughters In-Law, Hashimah Hashim, Wan Nor Sakinah Saad and Aidee Shauki Hashimi; 1 Son In-Law, Ahmad Nokman Osman; and 7 Grandchildren, Najwa, Mohd Nawaf, Danial Harith, Affan Al-Iman, Ahmad Hazique, Ikmal Hijjaz and Adam Mikael.

May her soul rest in peace and be placed amongst the Blessed ones, and may God grant her all the Forgiveness we have all been praying for.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.